Wednesday 19 November 2014

The Power of Kindness (and One Surefire Way to Know If You "Get" Mindfulness)

If you think mindfulness is just about neutral noticing and non-judgement, then something important is missing, says Ed Halliwell
In my last blog, I wrote that I had been experimenting with a slightly adapted working definition of mindfulness—“the awareness and approach to life that arises from paying attention on purpose, fully present, with curiosity and compassion." This is a small shift from the most common modern definition of mindfulness, which describes the practice as ‘non-judgemental.' Misunderstanding of ‘non-judgement’ has, I believe, has led to some unjustified criticisms, which suggest thatmindfulness is ethically groundless or passive.
Mindfulness is just not neutral noticing. There are a clear set of attitudes which underpin the practice, and compassion may be the most important. Mindfulness just isn’t mindfulness without kindfulness. From the very first time we’re invited to come back to attention, we’re reminded to do this gently. Without this emphasis on friendliness, we set ourselves up for an internal battle, making struggle and stress as we try to force focus. Many people do get frustrated when they notice attention wandering, and it’s a key learning when they realize this noticing itself is mindfulness, and that it brings a chance to express care, understanding, patience, and love.
As we train in these attitudes over and over, it begins to affect more than just our relationship with ourselves. As we cultivate the habit of being gentle, loving-kindness percolates outwards. Most practitioners find over time that they’re gentler with others around them, less reactive, less automatically hostile. This makes sense of course—the mind that relates to internal experience also connects to the external world, in which we live and work with others.
This is why I believe that mindfulness—taught and practised properly—is its own self-protection from misuse. As long as we commit ourselves to an ongoing practice of noticing what’s happening with curiosity and friendliness, awareness and compassion tend to follow. Whether taught and practised in friendly environments, or hostile ones in which the prevailing culture is grasping or aggressive, true mindfulness will lead to an increase in kindness, the basis for ethical action.
The key, of course, is reminding ourselves and others that mindfulness is more than just neutral attention training. That’s why I think having clear definitions are important—if mindfulness loses its kindfulness, then we really are lost.

Sunday 9 November 2014

Getting Over the Mindfulness Hype

Critiques against mindfulness tell us more about our over-driven society than the practice itself, says Ed Halliwell

Melanie McDonagh in the Spectator is the latest journalist to take a swipe at the ‘cult of mindfulness.' The Spectator cover story is another interesting moment in the mindfulness media frenzy—for those unacquainted with the magazine, it’s the UK’s largest and most influential political weekly (Boris Johnson, current mayor of London and possible future prime minister, was once its editor). Its coverage of mindfulness is an indication of how far the practice has permeated British culture, including in politics. Around 100 MPs and peers in the Houses of Parliament have taken a mindfulness course, and the Mindfulness All-Party Parliamentary Group is in the middle of an inquiry on the benefits of mindfulness to public life.

McDonagh's essay lost me at the start of paragraph five, which begins “So what exactly is mindfulness? On the back of a week of sessions, I can assert with some confidence that…” I’m a journalist myself, and it still amazes me that writers are encouraged to offer guidance on a topic in which their experience is next to zero. Would McDonagh critique the plays of Moliere after a week of French lessons?
Melanie McDonagh in the Spectatoris the latest journalist to take a swipe at the ‘cult of mindfulness.' The Spectator cover story is another interesting moment in the mindfulness media frenzy—for those unacquainted with the magazine, it’s the UK’s largest and most influential political weekly (Boris Johnson, current mayor of London and possible future prime minister, was once its editor). Its coverage of mindfulness is an indication of how far the practice has permeated British culture, including in politics. Around 100 MPs and peers in the Houses of Parliament have taken a mindfulness course, and the Mindfulness All-Party Parliamentary Group is in the middle of an inquiry on the benefits of mindfulness to public life.
I also think her main contention is confused—she asserts that mindfulness "quite clearly is a religion," without ever defining what she means by the word. She does say that mindfulness is "non–doctrinal, non-prescriptive, non-demanding," which makes me wonder, what kind of religion is this? She tells us that mindfulness is "squarely based on Buddhism," but then criticizes the approach for "picking bits from it piecemeal." So mindfulness is definitely a religion, despite core elements that suggest the contrary, and yet somehow it’s also not religious enough! Her point about the possible risks of intensive meditation to a fragile psyche is a good one, but it was better made here.
Getting beyond the mindfulness "hype"
However, the piece is worth considering, for a number of reasons. As pointed out bythis graph (thanks to Rohan Gunatillake for tweeting it to me), negative press tends to mark a turning point in the adoption of a technology. Mindfulness hype serves few needs well, and we may be moving out of the initial phase of unbridled (over)-enthusiasm and into a phase of consolidation, reflection, and revision. The other main criticisms made by McDonagh— that its emphasis on non-judgement may preclude appropriate action, and that focus on reflection can seem selfish—are common. They often come up among people who have just taken up mindfulness meditation, who feel guilty for taking the time to practice it. By sitting still and watching my experience, I may feel better, but am I not abdicating some of my responsibilities?
It’s a symptom of how driven many of us are, that even taking a short time out each day can become a stick to beat ourselves. As a way to treat the epidemic of stress, maybe what we need is precisely a chance to let go for a while of the constant need to achieve, do better, strive, and struggle. But aside from the benefits of meditation for stress, which are well-documented, isn’t making time to become familiar with our minds a gift we can give to others? How often do we cause pain by not being aware and not taking care of how we relate to those around us? Aren’t we likely to connect with the world artfully—to exercise wise compassion rather than ‘idiot compassion’—if we ourselves have trained in contemplation, becoming more gentle and skilful through our own practice?
Mindfulness and "non-judgement"
I do think the word ‘non-judgement’ is problematic. It’s not actually one that mindfulness pioneer Jon Kabat-Zinn uses in his classic definition of mindfulness, which talks of "the awareness that arises from paying attention, on purpose, in the present moment, and non-judgementally." There’s a subtle and distinct difference between not making judgements, and not being judgemental. The former implies not making decisions that could lead to discerning action, while the latter means dropping harsh, overly-critical ways of thinking and reacting.
Because this is so often misinterpreted, I’ve been experimenting with an adaptation: Mindfulness as “the awareness and approach to life that arises from paying attention on purpose, fully present, with curiosity and compassion." The addition of "approach to life" makes it clear that we aren’t practicing to become better navel-gazers, while "curiosity and compassion" (which I’ve taken from the definition used by the Oxford Mindfulness Centre) may offer more clarity than "non-judgementally." Anyone have other suggestions of how to convey mindfulness succinctly and clearly?